But God

I've spent many nights on a search to find
A word complex enough,
that could define the depths of my love.
Perpetual does not say enough
Infinite is not long enough
Eternal is not powerful enough.
It seems that no word ever is.

But GOD...

I Love You Black Man

So, I was watching a video on youtube... A poem, 10 things I want to say to a Black Woman, by Joshua Bennett. Afterwards, I scrolled down to leave a comment, and I read this....
"This is bullshit. Black women aren't all that special. I know
because I'm a black man. I've been around them all my life. But this
is coming from someone who doesn't care for people as a whole anyway
so maybe my comment doesn't mean much. But why just black women? Why
not all women? You don't think some little Spanish or Asian baby got
the wind knocked out of them when their mother smiled at birth.
Whatever the fuck that means. I'm sure some poor white mom has made
a "king" out of her "bastard".

Of course this changed everything that I wanted to say/write.. Someone so appropriately wrote...
"Can someone help him? I don't know where to begin"

To which I wrote this poem...



He
is the reason that
We
black women cry
painfully
cry
ANGRILY
and it angers me
That
He can't see
The Beauty in me
The love that lives
Inside of me.
If I could
I would take all of the love I have inside of my heart
Place it in his hands
and show him how much he means to me
I LOVE YOU
BLACK MAN
Despite the hatred you have for me
I want the BEST for you.
Your attempts to rob me of my strength
Will not make me rob you of your dignity
Emasculating you
Does not uplift me
I pray for you continuously
That maybe ONE DAY
You will see
All that beauty that I see
Feel the love that lives in me
And that it
Can live in YOU!

*I LOVE YOU!*
Signed,
-A SPECIAL BLACK WOMAN!

S.O.S

They say the rains of Katrina broke the levies,
But it was really the weight of my pain.
Years of disappointment gave way to tears that filled the ocean,
Flooding the city, until drowning was the only option I had left.
I.
Reached up to the sky
And I called out to God.
Are you there God?
It's me Kendra!
Please send in your troops immediately
Tell FEMA to get here as fast as they can
Because my life is in a state of emergency
I see the sign for first aid
And it looks like the Cross to me
It appears just out of my reach
So all hope seems lost to me
And it just might cost me
MY LIFE
I imagine You save me
Are you there God?
Its me Kendra
Disaster struck last night
In the form of an earthquake
It
Shook me to my core
And all my walls came tumbling down
Exposing the inner me
The weight of cement almost crushes me
I hear the pain of my loved ones
As they cry out in agony
Please
Come
And save us from ourselves

Do better, black people

I am a nurse by profession,
but a poet by birthright.
I write to right wrongs,
slaughter injustice from within.
My choice of weapon
is a few sheets paper and my pen
I paralyze you with my voice,
sedate you with speech,
murder you with my words,
it's all the same to me.
If you get the message.
I tell stories. The history of pain
the tragedies of our ancestors
now present themselves again,
but this time they're not using whips and chains,
they're hip to the game
They're now using our own outlet to penetrate and corrupt our brains.
"Niggaz, grab your dicks if you love hip hop.
B*tchez, rub your tits if you love Big Poppa. Gotcha"
gotcha singin along and grabbin your crotch
and
now we're forgettin'
the Civil Rights sit-ins,
Rosa, Malcolm, Medgar, and Martin
and all they sacrificed so we'd never be called "nigga" again.
But now? A "nigga" is not what I call my slave.
He's what I call my friend
And maybe they're one and the same,
I mean it's all the same to them.
Everybody wanna be a thug, slang rock n get rich quick.
Sacrifice our education to be a first round draft pick.
again we're pawns in their game
trying to acquire instant fame,
get to a place where "everybody knows your name".
And just as quickly as they learn it.
Oh, how quickly they forget.
Because the minute u make a mistake ur stock aint worth sh*t!
It's interesting how he holds a few dog fights, and they convict Vick
but murder a little black child and nobody gives a shit.
Are our lives not worth more than dogs?
Aiyana Stanley Jones you are remembered
Nicholas Heyward Jr., you are remembered.
Emmett Till you are remembered.
Black boy lost, you are found.
Black girl lost, you are found!
You've never been a "bitch", don't let them tear you down.
"Money, cars, clothes, n hoes.. I suppose"
I suppose it's all they know
but I guess that's what they chose.
The plight of the black man.. superimposed

*PAUSE* TO BE CONTINUED

Knowledge, Power, Respect

Land of the brave
Home of the free
I guess freedom is synonymous
With inequality
I mean, what's the cost of education
If you look like me?
They take the knowledge, lock it up
And they throw away the key
I'm tired of all the double standards
and hypocrisy
You say one thing and do another
And that bothers me
I thought I had some say in this
democracy
But I'm feelin kinda caught up in
your bureaucracy
Fixed rules, red tape, and your policy
Are all just covert inequality
So, no, I don't respect your authority
And everything you're saying is just
boring me
And I don't mean to beg to differ
But I disagree
With everything that you're tellin me

And with all the problems in society
Drugs, gangs, and teenage pregnancy
Do you really want to sit here and lecture me
About the plight of my people?

We come from generations of strength
And we're not known to give in
You can try to hold us down
but we're DESTINED to win
Lock us up, hold us down
But we'll rise again
It's all the POWER that we hold within

I repeat
It's all the power that we hold within


Your institutionalized racism and social injustice
Will not be enough to covertly oppress us
Your attempts to confine us to
Social cesspools and resegregated schools
Just add to the fire
The much needed fuel
Pump fists in the air
Fight the powers that be!
Tell them CHANGE has come
and he looks like ME!

In a Perfect World

In a perfect world
The child she bore in her womb
Would see life
And she wouldn’t have to make the decision
Of which is worth more
The child?
Or her life?
Struggling
Wondering,
If this is right
Trapped inside darkness
Longing for light.
He said he’d support her
Allow her to choose
But marry or commit to her
He just couldn’t do
So she lay on the table
Lost and confused
Totally aware
But somehow aloof
She said goodbye to her child
Her soul is empty now
Her spirit is crushed
And she can’t even figure out how
She never even laid eyes on the child
But she loved it so much
Prayed for forgiveness
Cried out in shame
And swore to herself this would NEVER happen again
Totally disappointed
Never the same
Emotionally dead
FOREVER changed
In a perfect world
the child she bore in her womb
Would see life
Then maybe she wouldn’t feel like two people died on the table that day!

The "new" Me

I've worn my hair natural practically my entire life.
Towards the end of college I decided to loc it, and after three years, I decided I needed a change. I recently combed out my locs. I wore it twisted for a few days, I rocked my fro for a few weeks (the reactions of people were HILARIOUS), then after being tired of the strange looks I decided to blow my hair straight. THAT got rave reviews!! Well, not wanting to kill my hair with heat, trying to keep it straight, I decided to get a weave (I mean, I don't care how hard people stared, I wasn't perming MY hair). People loved it! "Oh, you permed your hair, it looks so nice". I got so many compliments. People who would normally walk right pass me, would stop and speak, or nod with approval. All of a sudden I was "approachable". Funny, seeing as how my personality never changed through all of this. People would talk, and laugh, and joke with me. Maybe it's all in my mind. Maybe it's not. Either way, this piece was inspired by those people.

The "new" Me

Yes,
This
Is
The
"new" me....
Although the old me
still lies within me
And I'm truly
Just the same me
A new hairstyle doesn't change me
Just makes more people wanna claim me
And while this straight hair kinda shames me
My locs intimidated them
And while I was more comfortable in my skin
With the way I wore my hair then
I figured I'd give this a shot, kinda sad I let them win
Conformed to the standards of beauty
Set forth by magazines and tv
But I don't even want to be like them
I'm happy just to be me!
And I think it's kinda funny see
Cuz I was once invisible
And now, somehow, they see me.
I LAUGH at all the superficial, shallow ones who judge me
Who think this style is beautiful
but natural hair is ugly
I'm thankful for my family, and all the friends who love me
Regardless. If I rock my fro, or rock this "Dark n lovely"

GET OVER IT!
It's just HAIR, yall

Tell 'em why I'm mad!!!!

Pictures

I looked through our pictures today
It was all too bittersweet
That all we had is gone
and now we rarely speak
All the happy times we shared
are in the distant past
And now moments of silent tears
Replace the joyful laughs

I looked through our pictures today
Took time to reminisce
Of all the "firsts" we shared
First date, first dance, first kiss
And how I long to relive the moments
bring the smile back to my face
Not even sure where things went wrong
Or why we split in the first place

I looked through our pictures today
First time I didn't shed a tear
Took a long walk down memory lane
Wish I could have meet you there
I held your picture to my chest
So I could be close to you
Then placed the pictures back in the box
Cuz that's what Im supposed to do

I looked through our pictures today
The last look I'll ever take
I sat them in the pile of trash
And took it out for my sanitys sake
I started to look at our pictures today
But they were no longer there
I exhaled a heavy sigh of relief
And I didn't shed one tear!


©

Trust in You

All that I am I can attribute to you
Because you've always been there to pull me through
To help me do the things I thought I could not do
I know I'm a better person
when I'm trusting in you

When I listen to the words that you whisper in my ear
When I acknowledge the fact that you wipe away my tears
When I rest in your arms, you erase my fears
You've made me a better person over the years
Because I've trusted in you

I haven't always listened, I haven't been the best
But that has not made you love me any less
And with you by my side, I've passed 'most every test
And when the day comes that I take my final rest
I would have been a better person
Because I trusted in you


©

Less Than I Deserve

Why Should I continue to allow you to win?
When
Nine times out of ten we'll never be more than friends
And
I'll be forever confined to this box that you keep me in.

Stringing me along that's your way to control me.
Tellin' me lies to pacify and console me.
Same sad story and it's starting to get old.
See,
You tellin' me about all the women who've wronged you
And how you're so afraid that that's what I'm gonna do
Sounds full of it to me
And damn it, I'm too strong to
Settle for less than I deserve.

I constantly tried to cater to you
Whatever you needed, I was on call for you
But
I guess you needed more than what I could do
So
We began to drift apart and go our separate ways
And
I experienced so many sleepless nights and so many lonely days
That I had time to sit and analyze
all of the games that we played
And I came to the conclusion
That we were both just probably too damn afraid
To let go of our freedom

But
I guess the more time we spent apart
the lonelier WE became
Because we started to talk again
But all the problems still remained
So
I came to the conclusion that I was just too good for you
Gave all that I had, but it wasn't enough for you
Gave you ALL of me, but got only PARTS of you
Got so tired of trying that I said I was through.
Sure, at times I miss you
Want to hold you, want to kiss you
I want to take things back to before we parted.
Before trust died and the drama started
See, I know things most likely will never be the same, but
That doesn't stop the feelings and it doesn't ease the pain!
Though I know one man doesn't stop the show
Healing takes time and progression is slow
So I continue to move on and go for what I know.
Next time.......
Not settling for less than I deserve!!

©