But God

I've spent many nights on a search to find
A word complex enough,
that could define the depths of my love.
Perpetual does not say enough
Infinite is not long enough
Eternal is not powerful enough.
It seems that no word ever is.

But GOD...

I Love You Black Man

So, I was watching a video on youtube... A poem, 10 things I want to say to a Black Woman, by Joshua Bennett. Afterwards, I scrolled down to leave a comment, and I read this....
"This is bullshit. Black women aren't all that special. I know
because I'm a black man. I've been around them all my life. But this
is coming from someone who doesn't care for people as a whole anyway
so maybe my comment doesn't mean much. But why just black women? Why
not all women? You don't think some little Spanish or Asian baby got
the wind knocked out of them when their mother smiled at birth.
Whatever the fuck that means. I'm sure some poor white mom has made
a "king" out of her "bastard".

Of course this changed everything that I wanted to say/write.. Someone so appropriately wrote...
"Can someone help him? I don't know where to begin"

To which I wrote this poem...



He
is the reason that
We
black women cry
painfully
cry
ANGRILY
and it angers me
That
He can't see
The Beauty in me
The love that lives
Inside of me.
If I could
I would take all of the love I have inside of my heart
Place it in his hands
and show him how much he means to me
I LOVE YOU
BLACK MAN
Despite the hatred you have for me
I want the BEST for you.
Your attempts to rob me of my strength
Will not make me rob you of your dignity
Emasculating you
Does not uplift me
I pray for you continuously
That maybe ONE DAY
You will see
All that beauty that I see
Feel the love that lives in me
And that it
Can live in YOU!

*I LOVE YOU!*
Signed,
-A SPECIAL BLACK WOMAN!

S.O.S

They say the rains of Katrina broke the levies,
But it was really the weight of my pain.
Years of disappointment gave way to tears that filled the ocean,
Flooding the city, until drowning was the only option I had left.
I.
Reached up to the sky
And I called out to God.
Are you there God?
It's me Kendra!
Please send in your troops immediately
Tell FEMA to get here as fast as they can
Because my life is in a state of emergency
I see the sign for first aid
And it looks like the Cross to me
It appears just out of my reach
So all hope seems lost to me
And it just might cost me
MY LIFE
I imagine You save me
Are you there God?
Its me Kendra
Disaster struck last night
In the form of an earthquake
It
Shook me to my core
And all my walls came tumbling down
Exposing the inner me
The weight of cement almost crushes me
I hear the pain of my loved ones
As they cry out in agony
Please
Come
And save us from ourselves

Do better, black people

I am a nurse by profession,
but a poet by birthright.
I write to right wrongs,
slaughter injustice from within.
My choice of weapon
is a few sheets paper and my pen
I paralyze you with my voice,
sedate you with speech,
murder you with my words,
it's all the same to me.
If you get the message.
I tell stories. The history of pain
the tragedies of our ancestors
now present themselves again,
but this time they're not using whips and chains,
they're hip to the game
They're now using our own outlet to penetrate and corrupt our brains.
"Niggaz, grab your dicks if you love hip hop.
B*tchez, rub your tits if you love Big Poppa. Gotcha"
gotcha singin along and grabbin your crotch
and
now we're forgettin'
the Civil Rights sit-ins,
Rosa, Malcolm, Medgar, and Martin
and all they sacrificed so we'd never be called "nigga" again.
But now? A "nigga" is not what I call my slave.
He's what I call my friend
And maybe they're one and the same,
I mean it's all the same to them.
Everybody wanna be a thug, slang rock n get rich quick.
Sacrifice our education to be a first round draft pick.
again we're pawns in their game
trying to acquire instant fame,
get to a place where "everybody knows your name".
And just as quickly as they learn it.
Oh, how quickly they forget.
Because the minute u make a mistake ur stock aint worth sh*t!
It's interesting how he holds a few dog fights, and they convict Vick
but murder a little black child and nobody gives a shit.
Are our lives not worth more than dogs?
Aiyana Stanley Jones you are remembered
Nicholas Heyward Jr., you are remembered.
Emmett Till you are remembered.
Black boy lost, you are found.
Black girl lost, you are found!
You've never been a "bitch", don't let them tear you down.
"Money, cars, clothes, n hoes.. I suppose"
I suppose it's all they know
but I guess that's what they chose.
The plight of the black man.. superimposed

*PAUSE* TO BE CONTINUED

Knowledge, Power, Respect

Land of the brave
Home of the free
I guess freedom is synonymous
With inequality
I mean, what's the cost of education
If you look like me?
They take the knowledge, lock it up
And they throw away the key
I'm tired of all the double standards
and hypocrisy
You say one thing and do another
And that bothers me
I thought I had some say in this
democracy
But I'm feelin kinda caught up in
your bureaucracy
Fixed rules, red tape, and your policy
Are all just covert inequality
So, no, I don't respect your authority
And everything you're saying is just
boring me
And I don't mean to beg to differ
But I disagree
With everything that you're tellin me

And with all the problems in society
Drugs, gangs, and teenage pregnancy
Do you really want to sit here and lecture me
About the plight of my people?

We come from generations of strength
And we're not known to give in
You can try to hold us down
but we're DESTINED to win
Lock us up, hold us down
But we'll rise again
It's all the POWER that we hold within

I repeat
It's all the power that we hold within


Your institutionalized racism and social injustice
Will not be enough to covertly oppress us
Your attempts to confine us to
Social cesspools and resegregated schools
Just add to the fire
The much needed fuel
Pump fists in the air
Fight the powers that be!
Tell them CHANGE has come
and he looks like ME!

In a Perfect World

In a perfect world
The child she bore in her womb
Would see life
And she wouldn’t have to make the decision
Of which is worth more
The child?
Or her life?
Struggling
Wondering,
If this is right
Trapped inside darkness
Longing for light.
He said he’d support her
Allow her to choose
But marry or commit to her
He just couldn’t do
So she lay on the table
Lost and confused
Totally aware
But somehow aloof
She said goodbye to her child
Her soul is empty now
Her spirit is crushed
And she can’t even figure out how
She never even laid eyes on the child
But she loved it so much
Prayed for forgiveness
Cried out in shame
And swore to herself this would NEVER happen again
Totally disappointed
Never the same
Emotionally dead
FOREVER changed
In a perfect world
the child she bore in her womb
Would see life
Then maybe she wouldn’t feel like two people died on the table that day!

The "new" Me

I've worn my hair natural practically my entire life.
Towards the end of college I decided to loc it, and after three years, I decided I needed a change. I recently combed out my locs. I wore it twisted for a few days, I rocked my fro for a few weeks (the reactions of people were HILARIOUS), then after being tired of the strange looks I decided to blow my hair straight. THAT got rave reviews!! Well, not wanting to kill my hair with heat, trying to keep it straight, I decided to get a weave (I mean, I don't care how hard people stared, I wasn't perming MY hair). People loved it! "Oh, you permed your hair, it looks so nice". I got so many compliments. People who would normally walk right pass me, would stop and speak, or nod with approval. All of a sudden I was "approachable". Funny, seeing as how my personality never changed through all of this. People would talk, and laugh, and joke with me. Maybe it's all in my mind. Maybe it's not. Either way, this piece was inspired by those people.

The "new" Me

Yes,
This
Is
The
"new" me....
Although the old me
still lies within me
And I'm truly
Just the same me
A new hairstyle doesn't change me
Just makes more people wanna claim me
And while this straight hair kinda shames me
My locs intimidated them
And while I was more comfortable in my skin
With the way I wore my hair then
I figured I'd give this a shot, kinda sad I let them win
Conformed to the standards of beauty
Set forth by magazines and tv
But I don't even want to be like them
I'm happy just to be me!
And I think it's kinda funny see
Cuz I was once invisible
And now, somehow, they see me.
I LAUGH at all the superficial, shallow ones who judge me
Who think this style is beautiful
but natural hair is ugly
I'm thankful for my family, and all the friends who love me
Regardless. If I rock my fro, or rock this "Dark n lovely"

GET OVER IT!
It's just HAIR, yall

Tell 'em why I'm mad!!!!

Pictures

I looked through our pictures today
It was all too bittersweet
That all we had is gone
and now we rarely speak
All the happy times we shared
are in the distant past
And now moments of silent tears
Replace the joyful laughs

I looked through our pictures today
Took time to reminisce
Of all the "firsts" we shared
First date, first dance, first kiss
And how I long to relive the moments
bring the smile back to my face
Not even sure where things went wrong
Or why we split in the first place

I looked through our pictures today
First time I didn't shed a tear
Took a long walk down memory lane
Wish I could have meet you there
I held your picture to my chest
So I could be close to you
Then placed the pictures back in the box
Cuz that's what Im supposed to do

I looked through our pictures today
The last look I'll ever take
I sat them in the pile of trash
And took it out for my sanitys sake
I started to look at our pictures today
But they were no longer there
I exhaled a heavy sigh of relief
And I didn't shed one tear!


©

Trust in You

All that I am I can attribute to you
Because you've always been there to pull me through
To help me do the things I thought I could not do
I know I'm a better person
when I'm trusting in you

When I listen to the words that you whisper in my ear
When I acknowledge the fact that you wipe away my tears
When I rest in your arms, you erase my fears
You've made me a better person over the years
Because I've trusted in you

I haven't always listened, I haven't been the best
But that has not made you love me any less
And with you by my side, I've passed 'most every test
And when the day comes that I take my final rest
I would have been a better person
Because I trusted in you


©

Less Than I Deserve

Why Should I continue to allow you to win?
When
Nine times out of ten we'll never be more than friends
And
I'll be forever confined to this box that you keep me in.

Stringing me along that's your way to control me.
Tellin' me lies to pacify and console me.
Same sad story and it's starting to get old.
See,
You tellin' me about all the women who've wronged you
And how you're so afraid that that's what I'm gonna do
Sounds full of it to me
And damn it, I'm too strong to
Settle for less than I deserve.

I constantly tried to cater to you
Whatever you needed, I was on call for you
But
I guess you needed more than what I could do
So
We began to drift apart and go our separate ways
And
I experienced so many sleepless nights and so many lonely days
That I had time to sit and analyze
all of the games that we played
And I came to the conclusion
That we were both just probably too damn afraid
To let go of our freedom

But
I guess the more time we spent apart
the lonelier WE became
Because we started to talk again
But all the problems still remained
So
I came to the conclusion that I was just too good for you
Gave all that I had, but it wasn't enough for you
Gave you ALL of me, but got only PARTS of you
Got so tired of trying that I said I was through.
Sure, at times I miss you
Want to hold you, want to kiss you
I want to take things back to before we parted.
Before trust died and the drama started
See, I know things most likely will never be the same, but
That doesn't stop the feelings and it doesn't ease the pain!
Though I know one man doesn't stop the show
Healing takes time and progression is slow
So I continue to move on and go for what I know.
Next time.......
Not settling for less than I deserve!!

©

Just Friends

Finite friendships that yield infinite possibilities
Being "friends with privileges" has surely made us enemies
And now,
Despite our pleasant memories
You and me,
We barely speak
Because not speaking makes it easier
AND
We're
Both playin' games with each other
Simply because we can
I mean,
What the hell is goin' on?

Don't call me singin' bullshit songs
Because those lyrics and those words
They don't right your wrongs
F*ck what Mariah says
I know where I belong..
And it's NOT with you!
You see,
It's taken me too damn long to get a clue
And although I see now what I need to do
I'd been
Soo wrapped up in my thoughts of you
That I could not let go

And its clear that my thoughts are contradictory
Because my Mouth says one thing,
But then my heart gets the best of me
Forcing me to live painfully
With the "What could have been" or would have been"
Had you and I been
Just Friends
And

I really can't complain
'Cuz some of my happiest moments
Were spent in your arms
And it's driving me insane
That when I see you
Qualms of homesickness overtake me
Sudden feelings of faintness that break me
Make me
Remember all over again
That we should have been Just Friends!

Then maybe it wouldn't have hurt so bad
When I saw you with her
I wouldn't have been so sad
So... MAD
So
Forced to reevaluate
What I THOUGHT we had
Because she
Took the place of me
And you and I fell apart almost instantaneously
And you say it's my fault
My jealousy
But how can you be sleepin' with HER
And then come home to me?!?

Some things just do not coincide
And to top that off
Brother you lied
About even seeing her
Comparin' me with her
You said you did not want to be with her
But...
Could not "get free from her"?!?
Man, WHATEVER

You see,
I wish I had never met you
I wish I could just
Wake up in the morning
And forget you
I wish I hadn't opened up my heart
And let you in
Or maybe,
Just maybe..
We should have been
JUST FRIENDS
And skipped the rest of that sh*t!

©

The beginning (of everything)

> The light to my dark
> Sweet words of my song
> The sunshine in my cloudy sky
> The right to my wrong
> The love of my life
> The King to my Queen
> The one God kept for me
> The beginning to my everything.
>
> From the tip of my head
> To the base of my sole
> From the surface of my body
> To the depth of my soul
> You are the harvest that I reap
> From the good things I've sown
> You are the fertilizer God sent me
> To help me to grow
>
> The knight in shining armour
> That came to sweep me away
> Ensuring that my today
> Would far exceed my yesterday
> The beat of my heart
> The joy to my pain
> Feelings of gratefulness
> That words can't explain
>
> Can't wait for tomorrow
> To see what life brings
> As this is surely the beginning....
> of our everything!

Little Girl Lost

My thoughts are catalysts for chaos

Quickly destroying me

I run in search of space to think,

To act, to do, to be!

Afraid of all the anger

That brews inside of me,

Of all the fears and silly qualms

That seem to burden me.



They say,

Under the umbrella of anger

is fear

so as I stand here

I ask myself

What am I afraid of?



My reply?



My insecurities span 25 years;

They were birthed the same night as I.

They were heightened the day my father left And strengthened during the years of his absence.

A little girl of unknown worth



Buried deep within my soul

A large empty space that I crawl into to hide.

Did daddy love me,

And if he did why did he leave?

In search of someone to take his place,

I seek but do not find.

Scarred by the emptiness he left behind,

A little girl left filled with hurt!



I yearn to relive my childhood,

To rewrite the script of my past.

Rethink some wrong decisions,

So my today wouldn't be so bad

BUT I CAN'T!



There's no reversing time.

So instead I plan a better future,

but that future is not mine.

A little girl left filled with doubt!



Looking for love in all the wrong places,

I run to the arms of a man.

And when that fails I tell myself,

"no one can love me like I can"!

So I take some time to find myself,

to know myself, to love myself and then..

I'm running right into the next mans arms, and the cycle starts again.

A confused little girl with no way out!



I wallow in present circumstance

as emptiness reveals

My broken heart unmended,

Unworthy to be healed.

Empty spirit

Lifeless body

Unworthy to be filled

Battle scars tell half my story

But can't SHOW the pain I FEEL!

A little girl cries endless tears!



So, now I build walls all around me

But I don't fear enemies

These walls I build are put in place

To protect my heart..

From ME!

And now I sit in this dark room and I cry shamefully

Wondering how it came to this

I'm asking God "why me?"



My insecurities span 25 years;

They were birthed the same night as I.

They were heightened the day my father left

And strengthened during the years of his absence!

(c) 2009

Some Kinda Way

I’m feeling some kinda way

And I want to feel no kinda way

I just want to walk away

While I still have my sanity.

Cuz I was once floating in Space

But now I’m weighed down by gravity.

Full of emotions that once elated me, but

Now sadden me.

This is MY reality!



Well, curiosity just killed the cat

And though satisfaction brought him back

I’m now sitting here wishing I’d never tried any of that…

Of THIS…

Our one night stand… that first “innocent” kiss

But then I stop and reminisce and

Oh, the pleasure… oh, the bliss

Remind me again how I got myself into this!



Self gratification. Selfish desire,

Turned you into a cheater and me into a liar.

Cuz you ARE engaged, but I was untrue.

Not only lied to myself, but lied to you too!

I can’t just “F*ck” and move on!

Acknowledge my feelings do exist,

And then pretend that they’re gone

I can’t pretend this is right,

When we both know it’s wrong

I drove two hours home playin’ these damn love songs!



As we slept the night away,

We didn’t think about the price we’d have to pay.

Or how we’d deal if our feelings got in the way

Or how to see clearly in a room full of haze

Blinded by lust, lost in a daze.

“How do I love you? Let me count the ways”?

(Background action - counting on fingers)

This is so unfair, but this is the choice that WE made!



So, now I’m left to reflect on how I spent my yesterday.

Try to erase the feelings that continue on today.

Not even give tomorrow, a chance to get in the way

And figure out how in the hell I can just walk away!



And you see, I’ve already established

That this is NOT a love thing

A go out, but a ring, and propose kinda thing.

This was a once in a lifetime, lost control kind of thing. This was just a FLING!



And on everything I know, I want the best for you.

So, go off and marry her, if that’s what you choose to do!

But we can’t have our cake and ice cream

AND eat them both too!



And I’m NOT asking you to choose

PLEASE DON’T MISUNDERSTAND

Cuz you are HER Fiancé

You were never even my man!

And I’m not trying to have you

That was never my plan

I just want us to put this behind us

And I hope that we can!

And if we can’t

I’m not quite sure what that means

‘Cuz Like I said before

It was supposed to be a FLING!



I’m feeling some kinda way

And I want to feel no kinda way

I just need to get away

I just want to walk away,

While I still have my sanity!



©
COJ

Pain

This was inspired by a conversation I had with an old friend of mine today. He’s been going through a lot lately and I feel terrible that I wasn’t there for him in his darkest hours.

I wrote this for you, and I’m glad that you called. I’m glad that when you reached out, you reached out for me, and I’m glad that I could be there for you when you needed me most!! One day at a time, love. One day at a time!

It is the color of water
Flowing through my veins
Constricting my vessels
And numbing my brain
Elevating my emotions
Suppressing my pain
Freeing my mind
I’m floating away
Forgetting my problems
The Hell that I face
Nothing else matters
When I’m in this place
I’m out of control
I’m floating in space
I’m trapped inside darkness
I long for escape
I struggle to breathe
With each breath that I take
No longer in ecstasy
There’s too much at stake
I’ve been risking it all
I’m falling from grace
I’m running my fastest
Yet I’m losing the race
I’m pleading for help
My pleas fall on deaf ears
I cry out for assistance
And still no one hears
I reach out my arms
I was too weak to speak
And no one reached back
My future seemed bleak
I can’t help who I’ve become
Society shaped me
My father was gone
So, alone my mom raised me
She tried but she couldn’t
Turn this boy into a man
She cried every night,
But it was out of her hands
My best friend was murdered
My grandmother died
And all this resentment
Just built up inside
I wanted revenge
Someone I could blame
Someone else to hurt
To share in my pain
My mother was heart-broken
She died the next day
And I pretty much lost it
I’d had all I could take
I searched for a victim
And ‘I’ was his name
I lay in my bed
And pumped poison in my veins
And as I stare at the ceiling
Drifting away
In the back of my mind
I could see my mom’s face
She whispered to me
“Son, please not this way”
And the only thing I know
Is that I stand here today
Because Divine intervention
Saved me that day
I awoke from my slumber
In a hospital bed
My body was aching
Eyes bloodshot red
I had been to the light
But I was not dead
God had mercy on me
He spared me instead
My outlook is different now
My life has been changed
And the lesson I learned
Is there’s an end to the rain.
If you JUST DON'T GIVE UP.
If you PRESS PAST THE PAIN!!

The Way He Loves Me

I love the way he loves me

So

Unconditionally,

So

Honestly and Truly

So much more than I even love me.

I

love the way He loves me

The way He cares for me

So,

Unequivocally

So,

Matter-of-factly

His love embraces me.

I

love the way He loves me

The way He speaks to me

With words designed and delivered

Specifically for me!

I love the way God loves me

So

Unconditionally,

So

Honestly and Truly

So much more than I even love me!

The God In Me

When I have been overcome with emotion and all but died inside.

Crying rivers, streams, and oceans, who will wipe the tears from my eyes?

When I’ve lost my way and I’m all alone who will comfort me?

Will I fall back and be destroyed… or find the God in me?!?



When I have waged war against myself, my own ideals and beliefs

When I feel beat down, walked on, or like giving up. Who provides relief?

When my path is dark, the road is narrow, and blue skies have turned to gray

Will He have mercy on His child and help me find my way?



When He has led me to the river Jordan, but I refuse to drink

As my life begins to fall apart, do I ever stop to think?

When He has locked the doors that lead to freedom, but handed me the key

Will I refuse to answer the call, or will I find the God in me?



When I have worked and worked to get where I am, and still have nothing to show

Should I continue to work when the more I gain the less I seem to grow?

Should I delight in the pleasures of man, in search of silver and gold?

For what good is it to gain these things, if I sacrifice my soul?



When I have cried out to the Lord for wisdom, peace and understanding

Will I accept the new direction, when my requests are granted?

Will I turn away from truth or will I find the God in me?

(c)

Us

Speaking in a language that only you and I can
Words that have meaning that only WE understand
Like a secret glance across the room
Or a springtime day when flowers bloom
It means the world to us.

Silent verbiage echoes loud
Whispers heard above the crowd
Looks that blind men orchestrate
One chance meeting equals fate
What then happens to us?

And once again, just like before
Tears start to fall, I say no more
Love is gone, its race has run
Storms clouds gather and block the sun
Dark that symbolizes us

Sudden tragedy prevails
Love is lost. This unjust world
Will you please remember me
Hold on to every memory
They're all that's left of us!

(c) 2007

I Had a Talk With God

So, anyone who's been in contact with me lately knows how much of an emotional rollercoaster I have been on as a result of an interesting turn of events in my life this year... Anyways.. I sat down to write a poem about my latest devastation and it turned out to be something completely different from what I was going for, so I thought I would share it because... hey, who knows...just thought I'd share it!


Written: 12/5/06

*God*



I had a talk with God today / I asked Him what to do.

I asked if there was any hope / Hope left for me and you.

I know it's easier said than done / But I've forgiven you

I had a talk with God today / And I prayed you'll forgive me too!



*Prioritize, my child, He said / And focus more on me

For when your heart is a reflection of mine / Then I will give you peace.

Long not for some young earthly man / But set your sights on me

Look not for love in worldly pleasures / Look for love in me*



I had a talk with God today / I asked forgiveness for my sins

Renew in me a steadfast spirit / Make me whole again

Thank you for every blessing dear Lord / For every family member and friend

Thank you for every circumstance / That has made me who I am



I had a talk with God today / I rest my weary head upon his chest

I cried and cried and cried some more / I asked Him, Lord, please give me rest.

I said I understand precious Father / That this is all a test

But I just feel like giving up / Like I have nothing left.

I'm running from a painful past / I thought I'd left behind

Things seem so topsy turvey, Lord / I've lost all peace of mind

And even on the brightest days / My sun just doesn't shine.

But Lord, don't move my mountain / Please, just give me strength to climb!!!



*Do I hear a voice of trembling? / Of fear and not of peace?

I tell you my sweet, precious child / That those things are not of me

For, as man thinketh in his heart / So therefore is he

Do not have a heart of fear, / Rest assured, I'll set you free.*



*Believe in me, my child, He said / For I am by your side

And I am here to carry you / When life's battles leave you tired

So when you're feeling down and out / Reach for my outstretched arms

For I am here to prosper you, / Not to bring you harm.*



I had a talk with God today / I said I give You all the praise

You've changed my life and blessed my soul / In oh so many ways

So instead of looking back, dear Lord / I look on to better days

Thank you my dear Heavenly Father / I give you ALL THE PRAISE!



Thank you God of second chances... I GIVE YOU ALL THE PRAISE!!

(C)

The HI(S)tory of Hip Hop

This is HI(S)tory

The history of hip hop

Of breakdancin, freestylin

Scat, graffiti, and bebop

So funkdafied, The music of my soul.

I never knew throughout the years

That my love for you would grow.

You are my hip hop.

The only song I yearn to know,

And though I've tried it more than once

I cannot seem to let you go.

I've learned the lyrics

They are embedded in my mind

And every time I lose the melody

The song replays and it reminds me

Once again

Of how things used to be

"The perfect verse over a more perfect beat"

At night I dance

To the rhythm of your drum

And though they say Hip hop has died

I say your time has yet to come

And though I've tried

To find a substitute

No other genre

Can take the place of you

You are true hip hop

And though the imitators try

They'll never be you,

Because you've set the standard high

The change in times

have left me longing for your sound

But the birth new school can't replace the underground

Music today has strayed far from its roots

It has no meaning, but your message is the truth

I press repeat, I want to hear your song again

Lost in the rhythm, don't want the song to ever end

But then I realize that it ended long ago

The curtain's closing. This is the ending of the show

I must confess though, before it's time to go.

HIP HOP I LOVE YOU. The only love I'll ever know!!!


©

You

It's interesting the things we find when we're not trying to see.

How in letting go of all of you, I've lost parts of me.

I'm figuring the pain will ease the sadness drift away,

But who knows how long that will take? What will I do today?

Long nights have passed and days gone by

Thought I was finally through,

But when I woke up from my dream last night

I realized, I'm still not over you.

As I drove to work this morning, I let the radio play

Tried to erase all of last nights dreams...

Heard many songs along the way.

And as I reached the interstate this morning

I realized I had lost my way

I felt the tears rush down my cheeks

as our old song began to play

Lost in the words I heard, I cried for what was lost

As my emotions overtook me, I turned the radio off.

I shook my head in shame, too many years have passed

By now I should be over you. How much longer will this last?

And to disregard my feelings, I probably shouldn't do

But I hate the hold you have on me.. How much I still love you.

I drove from work this evening and still you crossed my mind

Stopped at the red light on the way and suddenly started crying

I felt resurface, all those emotions, I thought I'd left behind

It seems I can not break this hold you have, despite all of my trying

It's interesting the things we find when we're not trying to see

I haven't begun to let you go, yet still I'm losing me

The pain still has not eased, no sadness gone away

You hold as much of my heart now as you did yesterday

Long nights have passed and days gone by

Thought I was finally through

Forget the dreams, this is my reality

I'm still in love with you!!"

There's More

Young boys sell drugs

And rob stores

Bearing arms,

To gain profit and power,

Signifying their definitions of manhood



You see, their fathers never told them

That being a man is not about packing nines in their waists,

But packing knowledge in their heads!

And that street credit

Is as good as “no credit”

Because all it does Is discredit them

From any chance of survival

In this game of life,

They say young black males

Have but two choices,

Jail or death!

And their fathers never told them that there’s more.



Their fathers never told them that being a man

Is not about how many women they can sleep with,

But taking care of the children that may enter this world as a result

So, young boys play on the emotions of young girls

Who

Find themselves…

Trying to find themselves!



And their fathers never told them that

It’s not about the clothes that they wear

Or the expensive cars that they drive

People are going to love them for them

Or hate them just the same

And no one ever told them

That “thug life” eventually leads to “NO LIFE”

And since we’re only given one life

We need to make the most of it!



Young girls stand on corners

Switching hips and turning tricks.

Trying to gain a dollar

From a lack of common sense!

You see, her mother never told her

That she doesn’t have to open her legs

Just because he opens his wallet

And if she’d close her legs and open her EYES,

She’d see more than the four walls she’s trapped inside of.

Disillusioned about life,

Starving to find love



Her mother never told her that if he hits her once chances are…

He’ll do it again

And she doesn’t have to stand idly by and take it…

SHE CAN LEAVE HIM!

But she stays

Because no one ever told her that there’s more!



Her mother never told her that miniskirts and makeup

Won’t make her beautiful

That beauty starts on the INSIDE… out!

And if he doesn’t love her BEFORE she has his child

Chances are…

He won’t love her after

So, young girls hold on to young babies

Desperately trying to hold on to young boys

Who have moved ON

And are not thinking twice about looking back!



Our children…

No one ever tells them that they don’t have to let where they come from determine where they are going. So our kids grow up in the “hood”, idolizing the “hood”, because they don’t know anything that exists outside the “hood”. Can someone please tell them, can someone please show them… that THERE IS MORE?!?!?



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