Pain

This was inspired by a conversation I had with an old friend of mine today. He’s been going through a lot lately and I feel terrible that I wasn’t there for him in his darkest hours.

I wrote this for you, and I’m glad that you called. I’m glad that when you reached out, you reached out for me, and I’m glad that I could be there for you when you needed me most!! One day at a time, love. One day at a time!

It is the color of water
Flowing through my veins
Constricting my vessels
And numbing my brain
Elevating my emotions
Suppressing my pain
Freeing my mind
I’m floating away
Forgetting my problems
The Hell that I face
Nothing else matters
When I’m in this place
I’m out of control
I’m floating in space
I’m trapped inside darkness
I long for escape
I struggle to breathe
With each breath that I take
No longer in ecstasy
There’s too much at stake
I’ve been risking it all
I’m falling from grace
I’m running my fastest
Yet I’m losing the race
I’m pleading for help
My pleas fall on deaf ears
I cry out for assistance
And still no one hears
I reach out my arms
I was too weak to speak
And no one reached back
My future seemed bleak
I can’t help who I’ve become
Society shaped me
My father was gone
So, alone my mom raised me
She tried but she couldn’t
Turn this boy into a man
She cried every night,
But it was out of her hands
My best friend was murdered
My grandmother died
And all this resentment
Just built up inside
I wanted revenge
Someone I could blame
Someone else to hurt
To share in my pain
My mother was heart-broken
She died the next day
And I pretty much lost it
I’d had all I could take
I searched for a victim
And ‘I’ was his name
I lay in my bed
And pumped poison in my veins
And as I stare at the ceiling
Drifting away
In the back of my mind
I could see my mom’s face
She whispered to me
“Son, please not this way”
And the only thing I know
Is that I stand here today
Because Divine intervention
Saved me that day
I awoke from my slumber
In a hospital bed
My body was aching
Eyes bloodshot red
I had been to the light
But I was not dead
God had mercy on me
He spared me instead
My outlook is different now
My life has been changed
And the lesson I learned
Is there’s an end to the rain.
If you JUST DON'T GIVE UP.
If you PRESS PAST THE PAIN!!